How to Establish Family Holiday Traditions

When you're a newlywed, or a young family, just starting out on your life's journey together, the thought of establishing your own family holiday traditions can bring up feelings of both trepidation and excitement. Which holiday traditions will each of you bring from your own family background? Which will you create fresh that will become a hallmark of your family's memories for generations to come? How do you graciously excuse yourself from traditions where your presence is expected? Where do you begin? What is a family tradition?

For the purposes of this discussion, I'm defining a family traditions as...

an action or behavior which is entered into with goodwill and done

collectively as a family with enough repetition as to create stronger family unity.

Communication

Dreaming up ideas and beginning your own family holiday traditions is an exciting process that requires open and honest communication between you and your spouse. It may start as one conversation, but is really an ongoing discussion, revisited and reevaluated through the years. But you have to start somewhere, so begin by discussing what's important to each of you. You'll likely learn much about your spouse and his/her family in the process. If, for example, you were trying to decide what your family traditions centered around celebrating Thanksgiving or Christmas might be, following are some important aspects to consider:

- Timing. Will your main celebration be on the actual holiday, or another day? Will you celebrate on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day? I once knew a couple whose grown children were all married with families of their own, and they wanted to be able to celebrate Thanksgiving with their WHOLE family. However, they didn't want to cause friction between themselves and all the in-law families, so their family Thanksgiving was always the Saturday before the national holiday.

- Aspects. What aspects of a holiday celebration are the most important to you and your spouse? Is food paramount, or are you content with ordering the meal? Do you want to allocate most of your budget to presents, or will your gifts be small and sentimental? How much time and energy do both of you have, and how do you want to spend it?

- People. Who do you want to spend your holidays with? Will it be both of your families together? Family and friends? Immediate family only? Just the two of you?

- Faith/Sharing/Outreach. How will you practice or demonstrate your faith in your family traditions? Will sharing with others, or some form of outreach be a tradition in your family?

- Tone. What tone do you want your holidays to have? Are you a go-for-the-gusto, Clark Griswold type? Do you crave peace and minimalism? Maybe you want a "the more the merrier" tone and have a full house on holidays?

- Family Expectations. Its a guarantee that both of your families will have some expectation of your presence around the holidays. How will you spend time with them? How will you show them love while having your own traditions?

In all this discussion, be willing to compromise. When we had our first child, I was shocked to discover my husband had the expectation that she would receive ONE present for Christmas, because that's what he remembered from his childhood. I, on the other hand, had about ten presents under the tree each year, tagged as gifts for me from: Dad, Mom, grandparents, the dog, the cat, the turtle, etc. We've settled on a compromise of about four presents per child for our own family. Expect some give and take to be part of your discussion.

Inspiration

Maybe you've come from a family that didn't really celebrate much, or did not create traditions in the way that just makes your heart glow with yearning. Maybe you need some inspiration for ideas. Some of my favorite inspiration sources are:

- Family and friends. Ask them about their most meaningful traditions. Which family traditions do they celebrate that you have always admired? How can you borrow some of their ideas and make them your own? Growing up, we had family friends whose children always received new pajamas on Christmas Eve. I can't remember a time I didn't adore that thought, so we adopted it for our family and added a new book with the pajama gift, because tucking in on Christmas Eve with a new book AND new pajamas is so cozy!

- Blogs. Go back to the December postings of your favorite blogs to see what family traditions other have created.

- Pinterest.

- Instagram.

- Movies. What holiday movie scenes do you wish you could step right into? Why? Analyze what you love about that scene and create a new family holiday tradition from it.

- History and culture. Maybe it's something from Christmases past that you'd like to pull into your world. Roast chestnuts. Play charades. Go caroling to your neighbor's homes. Or maybe something from your family's cultural heritage can be incorporated into your holiday.

Continuity 

Remember our definition of a family tradition includes "done with enough repetition...", so there is an expectation of continuity. Consider how rigid or flexible your family traditions will be. Once your start a tradition, if the family wants it to continue FOREVER, you might want to start simple, or on a smaller scale. If your holiday traditions will be grand and/or elaborate, you may need willing helping hands and an investment in materials, e.g.: cloth tablecloths and napkins, a turkey roasting pan, etc.).

Have Fun

Finally, enjoy the traditions you establish, or change them until you do. And don't forget that some of the best traditions are ones that spring up spontaneously! Time, energy, and love lavished on your family is never wasted. Enjoying one another at the holidays is the best gift!

Easter Menu

Easter Menu

Appetizers

- fresh vegetables with dip -

- crackers with Beecher's Macro Polo (black peppercorn) cheese -

Main Meal

- spiral-sliced brown sugar-coated ham -

- skillet roasted baby red potatoes with garden chives, sea salt, and pepper -

- garlic butter roasted carrots -

- fresh fruit salad -

- hard-boiled eggs -

- homemade cloverleaf rolls -

Desserts

- lemon tart -

- chocolate-raspberry cheese cake -

Great Gatsby New Year's Eve Party!

Inspired by The Great Gatsby, Colette spent months envisioning and planning a Gatsby New Year's Eve Party!  Invitations were sent to come and sip champagne and Charleston into the new year.

She searched consignment stores and antique stores for months and acquired a nice collection of silver serving pieces and champagne glasses.

Party decor was lots of silver and gold streamers, giant confetti (snipped from metalic tissue paper), and balloons, balloons, and more balloons!  All the furniture was moved out of the living room, so it could be used as a dance floor.

The foyer and formal dining room were also decorated.

Since early summer, I'd been finding these silver forks in antique stores all over southern New Hampshire.  Every time I saw some, I'd snatch them up.  I was very grateful that I had more than enough to serve the entire party on real silver!

Five dozen helium balloons joined in the party!

Resorted to a selfie, so you could see the ornament in my hair...really one of Colette's necklaces enthusiastically pinned into my hair.  

Colette's ready for the party!

Almost time to party like Gatsby!

The invitation specified "1920's attire required", and people went all out to look elegant and fabulous!

-Gatsby Party Menu-

Gourmet Cheeses and Crackers

Caramelized Onion, Apple, and Gruyere Tarts 

Chocolate-Raspberry Cheesecake

White Chocolate Caramel Cheesecake

Key Lime Cheesecake (gluten free)

Assorted Chocolates

Apple-Ginger-Cranberry Punch

Sparkling Cider

Champagne

Now there's an elegant group!

Dancing the night away!

As one guest left, he shook my hand and said, "Thank you for letting us thoroughly trash your house!"  I guess the party was a success!  Really, the mess was part of the fun!

Clean up?  It happened the next day.  Zzzzz...

New Year's Eve!

Here's a sneak peek at what's happening at our house tonight!  Colette is throwing a Gatsby-style New Year's Eve party!  There's glitz and glam and bubbly!  Full details to follow.

Decking the Halls

Decking the halls is one of my favorite parts of the Christmas season!  Every year, the night of Thanksgiving, or the day after, Max hauls all the Christmas decoration boxes up from the basement, and Colette and I spend the next several days decorating for Christmas.  I enjoy the creativity that pulls raw materials from the boxes...books, candles and candleholders, ribbons, and more...and arranges them in a slightly different arrangement each year.

Colette wanted to be in charge of the family room mantle this year.  She had a plan and set to work with greens, pewter, beeswax candles, and pheasant and turkey feathers.

A little touch of Currier & Ives and she was satisfied.

The nativity scene was set up.

Love touches of tartan for Christmas!

The living room gets more formal touches.  The Victorian carolers take up residence on top of the piano.  And Christmas music stands ready for playing on the 1885 piano.

And hanging from a luxurious, velvet ribbon on my mahogany secretary is a mercury glass acorn, in a nod to the many oak trees on our property.

And even when everything else is in place, it never quite seems like the house is decorated before the staircase has been strung with greens.  Fresh roping was procured and then it's time to decide of the ribbons.  I have an entire plastic storage bin stuffed full of ribbons.

We opted to use the same tartan ribbons as last year, but adding in a black velvet ribbon too.

A wreath on the front door, and even the dog approves!

Prioritizing at Christmastime

"It's the most wonderful time of the year

With the kids jingle belling

And everyone telling you 'Be of good cheer'

It's the most wonderful time of the year 

It's the hap-happiest season of all

With those holiday greetings and gay happy meetings 

When friends come to call 

It's the hap-happiest season of all."

--Edward Pola and George Wyle (1963)

It is!  We LOVE the Christmas season in our household!  We love everything about it...decking the halls, Christmas music blasting from our playlists and carols being played on the piano, baking and feasting, sending and receiving Christmas cards, hosting our annual party, present wrapping...you name it, we love it all!  And, yes, like most families, we can sometimes get overwhelmed at all there is to do.  A little prioritizing is necessary to keep the household and Christmas preparations running smoothly WHILE retaining our Christmas cheer.  I've been pondering the next few weeks and how this is going to happen, and these are my thoughts and plans for this year:

Top Priority Given to the Fundamentals:

- Spend time in the Word of God daily preparing my heart for the celebration of His Incarnation.

- Keep healthy.  Fresh air and exercise in the form of a brisk walk works off those holiday calories and lifts the spirits.  (The dog likes this priority!)  Go to bed at a reasonable time and get a good night's sleep.

Do First the Things That Make for Craziness When Done Last

There are some Christmas preparations that I just REALLY love doing!  One of those is making Christmas pajama bottoms for our kids for their Christmas Eve presents.

This is a precious tradition to me, and one our kids genuinely appreciate.  But the joy goes out of it, if I'm holed up in the sewing room, by myself, late at night, on Dec. 23rd, scrambling to get them done.  Not fun.  So, I'm going to joyfully work on these in the next week.

Another preparation I take such delight in is making gifts to ship to friends on the west coast.  Coming up with the idea, creating them, and packaging them is fun.  But again, not so fun, if I'm slapping them together as fast as I can to meet the Christmas shipping deadline.

Primarily, it's those two creative endeavors that I really enjoy when I'm not feeling rushed, but my joy is zapped if I wait until the last minute.  So, those are happening first this year.

Let Everything Else Fall in Place

Shopping, wrapping, baking, Christmas card sending...all the rest always gets done, but doesn't make me feel stressed if it's happening at the last minute.  So, I'm going to focus on "peacefully going about the next thing".

Happy Christmas preparations to you!

Decking the Halls

We’ve been slowly decking the halls since the day after Thanksgiving, and I think we are finally done.  The tree is up and decorated!  Greenery is everywhere!  Fresh greens are plentiful, easy to obtain, and inexpensive here in New England, so we love decorating with them.

Variegated holly doesn’t seem to grow here, so I was thrilled to find bunches of it for sale!  Sprigs of it were tucked here and there.

The stair banister has swags of fresh greenery.  I like to change things up with the Christmas decorating every couple of years, so this year we went with a tartan ribbon.  Colette thought the red, black, and chestnut-colored plaid ribbon paired well with some deep wine-colored ribbon, and so mixed them here and there.  I love the unexpected layering of color!

Today, I bundled up little sprays of greenery from some tree trimmings and some sprays of cedar from the stair garland, attached some metal stars (available at Target), and wired it all to the middle of the windows in the formal dining room and the family room.

The family room mantle has a classic colonial look with greens, pewter, primitive angels, a string of “cranberries”, and clove-studded oranges.

I don’t decorate much in our bedroom, but I do love this spray of greenery on our bedpost.

One of the aspects of Christmas decorating that I love the most, is taking simple and/or inexpensive items, mixing them with things I already own, and giving it a whole new look for the holidays!  We’re having our annual Christmas party this week, so I polished up this silver tray (a wedding gift 25 years ago), paired it with a mix of mercury glass votive candle holders (finds from Target), and added a couple small sprays of cedar.  I can’t wait to light these for the party!

Cheery Christmas

Last week, when I was feeling my worst with this head cold, I wandered through the kitchen where Colette had been busy, and I happened upon this…

And even though I was feeling miserable, I couldn’t help but smile at such a cheery Christmas scene…showing Colette’s love and creativity and bathed in early morning sunshine.  What a blessing!

Advent

In this season of advent, we’ve been reading Douglas Wilson’s new book, God Rest Ye Merry, for family devotions. I love how he writes! His writing style is so crisp! He has a way of cutting right to the heart of the matter in three words or less, but never without thought behind each and every word. Here’s an excerpt:

“The one who spoke the galaxies into existence at the beginning of all things took on human flesh and consented to have his diapers changed. But He did not do this in order to demonstarte how low He could stoop, as though that stooping were arbitrary or aimless. Rather, he ordained that stooping this low would be the means by which He overcame the world. And He ordained that stooping in this way would be the means by which his disciples followed Him into the kinghdom.” – Douglas Wilson

Tutorial: Fresh Greens Table Decoration

Inspired by a photo I saw online, yet doing my own take on the idea, I created a fresh greens and candles table decoration for the family room coffee table. It was so simple to make and only took a few minutes. The online photo showed it made in an antique box. But antique boxes are ridiculously priced, I discovered. Instead, I used an antique basket that I bought for just $12.

To make this yourself, you will need some sort of vessel (box, basket, bowl), a plastic trash bag, green florist foam (the type that will hold water), and assorted fresh greens (trimmings from your Christmas tree will work, but a mixture will look best). You will also need some candle holders. The photo that inspired me used small canning jars. I’m a bit in love with mercury glass this Christmas, so I bought three mercury glass holders (slightly bigger than votive holders) at Target. You will need candles to fit your holders.

The first step is to line your basket (or other vessel) with the opened trash bag. This will protect the surface you set it on from getting wet.



Then fill your kitchen sink with water. Cut the green foam (with a kitchen knife) to fit your vessel. You will want to stack and cut it so that it comes nearly to the top of your vessel. Put the green foam in the sink to soak until it will absorb no more water.

Remove the foam from the water, allowing it to drip out any excess water. Then add the foam to your basket, making sure that it’s not going to leak water anywhere.



Push and screw the candle holders into the foam until they are secure.



Insert greens here and there into the wet foam (the water will keep them fresh) until you can’t see the foam. I used three types of pine and some holly in mine.

Fresh green table decoration in 10 minutes time. And fun too!